The other day I came across this diary entry from September 1986 which made me a bit sad.
I went through a very rough period of depression from the start of the school year in 1986 (9th grade) until basically the day I graduated high school.
This particular diary is purplish pink and is actually a hardcover journal which I believe was purchased through a book club at school. It was made "Especially for Girls" and actually says so in fancy writing along the inside lining of the journal.
The top of the page says "My Secrets..."
What were my secrets in September of 1986 at age 13? Hang on, I'm about to tell you. But... I feel slightly scared to. You have to promise not to judge me. Please? Okay... You must also promise to still love me and visit my blog again another day. Alright? No matter what!
"I'm not having any kids. I'm very unhappy. I'm a very unhappy person. I dislike my father a lot. I'm a loner. I love to be alone. I love The Monkees. I wish I was as pretty as Micky Dolenz daughter Ami Dolenz. I like quiet. I don't know if there's a God. I dread school more than anything in the entire world. I don't get along with my family very well. I have thought of different ways to kill myself. I have had very deep conversations with Danny and Sean. Very deep, private conversations. I am very, very depressed about school."
I remember there were a few years where I couldn't stand my father. We clashed most days. He hated that I spent late nights on the phone. I think that the" not getting along well with my family" thing must have been an adolescence phase. I'm not a parent, so I don't know first-hand, but I hear kids go through a rough stage once they hit 13.
I find it funny that the first line says that I'm not having any kids. Here I am, still unsure if I'm having any kids. I don't know if there's a god, I consider myself agnostic. Sadly, I can't lie, every once in a while the thought of a painless death crosses my mind, but fear has always stopped me.
PS This was Ami Dolenz. She had some bit parts in movies like Can't Buy Me Love and played Sloane on the TV series version of Ferris Bueller.
In the interest of time, I am forced to shortened this feature to include two celebrities per week instead of four. Don't worry, I'll be sure to always include a stone cold vixen for my male readers.
Today we check in on two stars from the hit series, The Wonder Years. These two didn't turn out half-bad. I know you guys were drooling over Danica back in the late '80s and I'm sure you've seen her in Stuff magazine. Whatever. I think it's a bit of a disappointment when stars from my youth disrobe. Although in Danica's case, she was voted "1990s star you'd most like to see in lingerie" by her male fans. Fred was cute, but he was my little brother's age, meaning much too young for me (back then). Fred's brother Ben will not be included, I never really thought he was as cute as Fred. Not that I was even into Fred, just saying...
Fred Savage
Born: July 9, 1976 in Chicago First Discovered by Ally: Movie called The Boy Who Could Fly Most Famous For: Kevin Arnold on The Wonder Years Cool Ally Points: The Arnold's home address was 516 -- my area code growing up. There's a Long Island connection with the creator of the show and how he originally wanted them to have the show set somewhere on Long Island--much like Growing Pains, but whatever... Today: Fred's married with two small children and continues to act and work in the entertainment industry. Recent Appearances: Disney Channel's Kim Possible and Family Guy.
Danica McKellar
Born: January 3, 1975 in La Jolla, California Most Famous For: Winnie Cooper inThe Wonder Years Today: Danica is married and expecting her first child soon. She wrote a New York Times Best-seller book on teaching math to girls. She mega-smart and studied math at UCLA. Recent Appearances: How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, Inspector Mom, etc.
For whatever reason when people get married these days, they often like to capture fun imagery of themselves as children. When planning out our wedding video and other details, I found two photos of us at about the same age. My Mother-in-Law says hubs is actually a year younger than me in the photo, which is okay. I love my younger boys. He's three years younger than me. My high school boyfriend was one year younger than me and my college boyfriend, two years younger. Strange progression now that I think about it. Basically all men born in 1972 were just bad eggs, I guess.
So here we are.
Funny trivia tidbit:
On my wedding website, I had these images along with current pictures of us. A woman commented or emailed me, I forget... asking if "they" were my children. Odd, the photo looks rather '70s to me. That would make me my parents age. Do I look 60ish? Geez.
Say Goodbye To Hollywood - Long Island's Billy Joel
Let me first tell you that I'm not a Billy Joel fan, but as a little kid I was! Growing up on Long Island, at some point in your life you have to like Billy Joel. Why? Because Billy is Long Island.
I know I've blogged about my roller skating rink days at Hot Skates in Lynbrook, Long Island several times... But seriously, in the early 1980s when this song came on, it was like everything was right with the world. Why? Three little words. Couples. Only. Skate.
I'd grab the hand of an unsuspecting fellow fifth grader and off we'd skate into the night for an entire 4 minutes and 37 seconds to this particular Billy Joel song you can hear below. Even if my skating partner wasn't particularly cute or stylish; the music, the lights, the glimmer of the disco ball, made him seem almost as cute as Jason Bateman on Little House. It was heavenly.
Tonight I had a doctor appointment where I regressed to third grade behavior, which some of you may find incredibly disturbing. If you can't handle it, exit now. You have been warned.
Arriving a few minutes early, I sat alone in the small waiting room. I looked around and noticed the same Sweet Pickles Weekly Reader books I saw the previous week were once again sitting on the end table. While staring at the cover image of Goose Goofs Off, the old '80s TV commercial jingle played out in my head just as it did the last time, "Smart moms know how kids minds grow... Sweet Pickles..." Soon images of that stupid bus rolling down the street and a narrator or child exclaiming, "Here comes the Sweet Pickles bus!" followed.
Watch it here:
Next to the books I noticed something I just had to have. A little person. An original 1980s golden haired ponytail-sporting figure with exaggerated eyelashes and large smile. In kindergarten I absolutely loved Little People. Today's Fisher Price Little People aren't the same. I had the house, the barn and I think a school house. Today, they're larger and rounder, probably built to keep three-year-old kids from swallowing them or shoving them up their noses.
I scoped out the scene and made sure I was in the clear and quickly pocketed the little gem. I don't know why I needed to have this. When I was very young, I went through a phase where I would five-finger other kids' stuff. I especially had a thing for Snoopy and Hello Kitty school supplies and stationery items. If one of the girls left a Hello Kitty eraser out on her desk, I would quickly swipe it and bring it home.
It really gave me a strange feeling of euphoria. Like I had scored points in a video game or won something. I loved looking at my little treasures in the privacy of my bedroom with the door closed. There was something about unveiling them from my pockets and spreading them out on my twin bed. I'd sit under the pretty princess-like blue and white gingham canopy and matching bedspread and just admire each little item as if they were nuggets of pure gold. This was my secret and I never told my friends or my family.
Eventually I outgrew this devilish phase even though I never took anything of worth really. I just had this thing for random trinkets. I don't know what it was about these items.
Tonight I left with a little trinket and I keep examining it and I know I will probably return it on my next visit. On the drive home I wondered if the doctor would notice it. What if a child asks, "Where is the little person?" I better remember to return it.
Update: I returned the Little Person the next office visit. I never told anyone, even my husband. I'm only telling you guys, my trusted readers.
My very first job out of college was as Associate Editor of a now defunct teen mag called SuperTeen. If you were a kid between 1996 and 1999, and loved Backstreet Boys or Hanson, there is a slight chance you may have read an article penned by me. That job was the coolest. Although it paid a measly $21,000 a year in 1997 (meaning it was bad even back then), it allowed me some pretty cool perks.
In addition to lots of free beauty products, I had backstage access to countless concerts, Disney cruises, dinners at Hard Rock and Planet Hollywood sitting next to whoever was the hottest kid at the moment. I’ve interviewed everyone from Jonathan Taylor Thomas to Justin Timberlake. From Beyonce to BackStreet Boys, even Hanson—very not the nicest child stars by way, although Taylor wasn’t as obnoxious as Ike and Zac.
Why am I telling you this?
I got an email from Ian over at Daily Dose of Reality asking, “Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met?” I’m guessing that’d be Britney Spears. My final big assignment prior to a layoff, (the magazine was acquired by competitors and some messy crap went down aka eventually everyone ended up getting canned) I was to spend the day with Britney in NYC. Our offices, of course were in NYC, so we were always busy with press events, etc.
It was a Spring day as I waited on the corner of 18th and Park Avenue South for her to pick me up. OK, so Brit wasn’t behind the wheel exactly, her chauffer was. Her label, Jive, often taxied their stars around in shiny black Cadillac Escalades.
I hopped in and slid up alongside her in the backseat and asked how she was. I hadn’t seen her in a few months. She had just returned from Japan—I think it was her first visit, but I could be wrong. Killing time in Manhattan traffic, Brit showed me some little trinkets she snagged in Japan. I believe we bonded on our love for Hello Kitty and Sanrio as she showed me a light-up animated character connected to her cell phone. Nosey and always looking for something to chat about, I asked to see what was in her purse. I believe she pulled a few items from her wallet. I recall a pressed four-leaf clover for luck (I forget the story behind it) and a prayer she said kept her grounded and in touch with her faith.
Around this time, she was preparing for a big solo tour sponsored by Tommy Hilfiger. Hilfiger asked her to load up on some clothes. Whatever she wanted. Racks and racks of expensive designer fashions, all for free. I bitched to Tommy's brother Andy Hilfiger about how I couldn’t believe they still didn’t make any cute stuff in plus sizes for us bigger chicks. He apologized. Yeah, I’m ballsy like that.
I remember one puffy white jacket Britney tried on, I busted out with the lamest comment ever, “Gee Brit, for some reason I feel like if you were to fall into a swimming pool wearing that, you just might float.” Nobody laughed. Eek. I have a knack for saying stupid things, but don’t worry, it gets worse.
After the free Hilfiger shopping trip ended, we headed out to a photo studio loft in Union Square. Upon exiting the Cadillac, Brit noticed a Sketchers store below the photo studio and tore-ass in there. Her very large bodyguard Rob, chaperone/family friend Felicia and I all followed her in as fast as we could.
While quickly surveying the store, I grabbed a cute pair of Adidas wannabe white platform sneakers and called to her, “Brit, get these! Get these! How cute are these?!” I was floored when she replied, “Oh yeah girl, those are cute! I have to have ‘em!” For some odd reason, I expected her to say, “Grab a pair for yourself, ya know since you found ‘em first.” Um, she didn’t.
Instead Felicia grabbed the platform Sketchers in Brit’s size and whipped out a credit card from her wallet. She joked with me about Brit being a shopaholic as her bodyguard grabbed a pair of Timberland looking Sketchers. This broke-ass editor left empty-handed of course. It’s okay; I’ve never been a big Sketchers fan anyway. I’m more of a Vans or Etnies girl myself.
Once inside the photo studio, Brit had her hair and makeup done while we sat around and chatted. Another editor was there at that point and we admired Britney’s Tocca candle and asked her what beauty products she liked, etc. Around this time, Brit was dealing with a lot of bad press and negative attention because of her fake boobage. We knew enough not to mention that, yet I still managed to somehow screw that up.
During a few photos, Brit decided to go bra-less and when she went in to change into something else, I quietly mentioned to the photographer that anything too sexy would not make it into our magazines. Somehow she figured me out and the vibe seriously shifted from there. It was so awful, I wanted to die. I couldn’t apologize because I was too ashamed and didn’t know exactly what to say.
The next thing I knew, she was sitting in her makeup chair, getting hair and makeup touch-ups and sniffling. I could tell she was trying not to cry, cry. How could she possibly have heard me? How did she know what I said? I was so slick, so I thought. Maybe she thought I was making fun of her? Maybe she thought I saw her boob job scars? I had to make it better and had no idea how. Suddenly, the other editor kicked the weirdness up a notch and brought awkward to a whole new level.
I wish I could remember if I had told the other editor what had happened and she attempted to save the day, or if she just got all emotional herself totally at random. The next thing I know, Brit’s still in her makeup chair and editor lady is removing a necklace along with a locket or pendant type charm. She’s handing it over to Britney. I lean in to see what the hell is going on. She holds Britney’s hand and tells her that the necklace brought her only good luck and she felt it was time to pass it on to someone else. Uh, hello? This is Britney Spears, she gets free diamonds! Save your gold locket for your first-born.
Britney was gracious and they sniffled together as I stood there feeling like a total jerk. I began counting the minutes until I could finally go back to the office and hide in my cubicle writing up the “Day with Britney” story leaving out all of the juiciest parts. Thanks to Ian, I’m able to tell the real story.
Be sure to check out the image of Britney in her Sketchers that I PICKED OUT along with scans of the 1999 caption story. If you’re bored, click on the images to enlarge and enjoy. The story appeared in a tabloid style mag the new publishing company test-marketed. It failed. Why? Because even though I wasn’t the smoothest operator, I was their best reporter and I was now no longer contributing to their publications. Trust me, I was the one editor who sweet-talked a 17-year-old Backstreet Boy Nick Carter into say anything other than, "Yeah, well ya know" or "I guess." More on that another day.
Big shocker, another food blog from the chubby kid ... oh well. Don't hate. What you're about to read is disturbing and unhealthy and none of it was my mother's doing. Be kind.
Today's kids are worldly eaters. Trust me, even though I don't have any kids of my own, I just know. My little cousins and our friends' kids eat crazy foods I won't even touch as an adult! They wolf-down mushrooms, sushi, Chinese food, crab legs, eggplant and more. Me?
At 11, my three favorite foods were as follows...
The McDonald's Happy Meal
The very first Happy Meal was sold in 1979 in Kansas City for $1. The idea came about in 1977 from an ad man trying to figure out a way to better market McDonald's to families. Back in 1983, I don't think parents allowed their kids to eat at McDonald's very often--at least we weren't there more than once a month. I remember the excitement every time we'd pull into the parking lot of the Franklin Square McDonald's. I'd wonder what toy or cool drinking glass I'd snag.
Instant Mashed Potatoes & Real Mashed Potatoes
Still crazy about 'em after all these years, the mashed potato is one of the most incredible way to serve a potato. My little friend who l lived next-door to us didn't really have a mom and her dad worked long hours. I loved going over to her house because she'd make us instant mashed potatoes. I had never seen anything like it. They were soft white flakes that came in a red or brown box and watching her prepare them was truly an amazing site. She'd boil up milk and water, mix in some butter and salt--that was our snack. A heaping portion of fake potato goodness washed it down with a Coke. Gag, I know.
Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
My mom didn't take many shortcuts when preparing dinner for us kids, however one thing she did treat us to every once in a while was the blue box Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. I must say I'm somewhat surprised to learn that Kraft first introduced the dinner back in 1937 calling in Kraft Dinner. It was a stick-to-your-ribs meatless option during World War II. Who knew?
Christian Bale, Jamie Bell, Nicole Eggert & Soleil Moon Frye
Due to the overwhelming response I received with regard to my Child Stars Turned Stone Cold Foxes post two weeks ago, I bring you the second edition. Male readers complained my post was lacking ladies, so I've tossed in some hot chick foxes, er, vixens this time, so no whining. Okay guys?
Christian Bale--from cute to crazy, sexy, cool... Name one preteen girl who could resist the charm and British accent of a wise-beyond his years 13-year-old Christian Bale in Steven Spielberg's Empire of The Sun.
Recent movies include:The Dark Knight, Public Enemies and The Fighter.
Jamie Bell--from ballet boy to brilliant! We first laid eyes on this14-year-old Brit as he danced his way into the hearts of fans everywhere in Billy Elliot. Today he's smokin' hot at a very legal age, 24.
Recent movies include Flags of Our Fathers and Jane Eyre.
Nicole Eggert--perky, pretty teen daughter on Charles in Charge to sinfully sexy Baywatch babe.
Recently appeared onCelebrity Fit Club.
Soleil Moon Frye--from the lovable 8-year-old pip squeak Punky Brewster, to sophisticated hot mama.
Soleil is known for having a breast reduction and her raspy voice.
Recently appeared in For Better or for Worse. I follow her on Twitter. We're tight like that.
