Taylor Lautner As Stretch Armstrong

I'm doing some research on Twilight actor Taylor Lautner (more on that another day) and discovered he is slated to portray Stretch Armstrong in a 2012 3-D movie. Wow, what a blast from the past. "Who the heck is Stretch Armstrong?" you young folks are saying... Check it out!

Stretch Monster in all his glory!

Stretch Armstrong Doll From Kenner

In 1976, Kenner released the most ridiculous, yet awesome, over-sized action figure doll targeted to boys. Stretch Armstrong was a tough muscle head guy sporting only a Speedo. He consisted of thick rubber filled with a heavy gel that made him, well, stretch. You could pull on his arms and legs, make them super long, tie him to a chair with his arms or and wrap him in a ball. I liked the way you could play tug-of-war with him and a friend. Still confused? Think macho, flesh-colored Gumby... It was very odd, yet very entertaining at the same time.

I don't know why I remember this toy.  My brother was born that year, so I doubt he had one and we didn't have any cousins at that point. I'm guessing sons of my parents friends had Stretch Armstrong because I remember the distinct plastic rubbery scent and the way the rubber felt. Hmm. I think I even bit Stretch at one point to see what it felt like. I was simply mesmerized by Stretch Armstrong. I truly was.

Gross Stretch X-Ray action figure doll.

Then there was his enemy, Stretch Monster. Stretch Monster was a freakish looking green scaly creature released in 1978 while Stretch Ollie, a blue male octopus and Stretch Olivia, a pink octopus soon joined the Stretch crew. Stretch X-Ray was another ghastly creature which resembled a big-brained alien with a transparent body giving kids a sneak peek at his organs.  GROSS!

Anyway, the point of this post is that for some reason the thought of Taylor Lautner staring in a 3-D film about Stretch Armstrong, makes me giggle.  Anyone?

Please view the Stretch Monster vs. Stretch Armstrong commercial. You've gotta see it! It's from the 1970s and looks so low-budget. It's awesome! It's crazy because I remember that last line the kid yells out, "We'll meet again SHORTEEEEE" ... I remember it because it made me roll around the floor laughing. I was that kind of kid.