Christmas Music Song Lyrics Defined

As we near 2011, our terms and slang have changed and developed so much so, that when I hear old holiday songs I think to myself, "What the heck does that mean?" Well, actually I'm lying. I know what it means, but I wonder if today's kids do. I've created a guide for phrases and terms no longer popular as a guide to some of your fave songs this holiday season. Feel free to add to my list in the comments section.

Phrases In Christmas Music No Longer Popular

Auld Lang Syne is similar to "Once upon a time"

From "Need a Little Christmas" the line is "Carols at the spinet"

What is a spinet? A spinet is a smaller version of a piano manufactured between the 1930s and 1990s. Similar to a harpsichord or organ.

From "Need a Little Christmas" the line is "Slice up the fruitcake"

Who eats fruitcake these days? Fruitcake has always been a joke around the holidays. Fruitcake is exactly what it sounds like, a cake made with chopped candied fruit and/or dried fruit, nuts, and spices, sometimes soaked in spirits

From "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" the line is "Take a look in the five and ten..."

Back in the days, they had five and dime stores where you could purchase items for under tn cents. F.W. Woolworth Co. was the most popular back then.

From "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" the line is "Hop-a-Long boots and a pistol that shoots"

What in the world are Hop-a-Long boots? Apparently these were boots worn by a guy named William Lawrence, known as Hop-A-Long Cassidy in movies and shows from the 1940s and 1950s. Kids in the 50s loved them.

From "I'll Be Home For Christmas" the line is "Please have snow and mistletoe, and presents on the tree"

Yes, you heard correctly, "on the tree" not under. Back in the days, gifts were placed atop the Christmas tree's branches although I can't find any documentation to back this up. I swear I heard it somewhere and in the movie A Christmas Story, there are presents on their tree Christmas morning.

Facebook Replaces Phone Calls & Emails

Yesterday, an old high school friend mentioned deleting a large number of friends in honor of National UnFriend Day ...  Jimmy Kimmel is the cruel culprit and cause for careless random unfriending this week. I realize it is pathetic to admit I care, but I do. Remember my post regarding Facebook unfriending and deleting back in June? Sadly, the truth is, Facebook has become my lone lifeline to certain old friends and even family members.


Gone are the days of emails, texts and phone calls (remember phone calls!) ... Today I find out about friend's pregnancies, divorces, engagements, new jobs and other big events via Facebook.  For example: an old friend once threatened to delete her account and I felt my heart drop. She rarely replies to texts and is too busy for phone calls, so my only link to her at this point is Facebook. Then again, maybe without Facebook, she will be forced to pick up the phone again the way we did back in 2003.

Friends who have moved away and purchased new homes I may never see, I get a glimpse into their world through their Facebook albums. Old buds or former work associates I don't really speak with keep me posted on their new babies and important career moves via FB. I'd never know otherwise. Can anyone relate to this? These days I've found myself too busy or too tired to chat on the phone, but I welcome a private message sent through Facebook. So drop your friends a line, let them know what you're up to and think twice before unfriending someone who really does care.

Corey Feldman Hints of Goonies Sequel

If you've been following FourthGradeNothing.com for a while, you know how much I adore Corey Feldman and The Goonies. Yesterday, reports surfaced that yes, indeed a Goonies sequel is in the works, according to Corey Feldman.

Blogs state that The Goonies sequel can go one of several ways and here's how I feel about it.


Goonies - The Broadway Musical
WTF? No! I'm so sick of all the hype that High School Musical started several years ago. These days all we hear about is Glee and new offbeat musicals. I will just cry if they turn The Goonies into a Broadway show. I can see it now, Chunk and Sloth gettin' down with Baby Ruths in-hand rocking along doing the Truffle Shuffle. No! This is just so wrong. 


Goonies - With New Kids & New Adventures
Oh no, not another Karate Kid remake. I can't take it. I am not behind this idea at all. I don't want to see Zac Efron as Mikey's older brother "Brand" and Dakato Fanning as Steph. It just seems so unnatural to me. I can just picture Miley Cyrus covering Cyndi Lauper's "Goonies R Good Enough" song. Please make it stop!


Goonies - Reuniting The Original Cast
Now we're talking! Bring it! I would love to see the original crew back for another adventure or even in the role of parents telling the story to their kids. Anything, but the above two sequel options would make me so happy. There was a time I adored Sean Astin. I only mentioned him in my summer 1985 diaries like a billion times. Today he no longer does it for me, but in my mind he will always be the one and only Mikey Walsh, asthmatic inhaler and all.

Three Fast Food Meals That Made Me Sick

The other night, my friend professed his love for the McDonald's McRib sandwich. Now, don't think this is a bashing of fast-food. I won't lie, I love the stuff! As a child it was a big deal to visit Burger King or Friendly's. However, his mention of the McRib conjured up memories of one of the worst nights of my life which in turn reminded me of two more awful experiences all having one common denominator ... FAST FOOD! 


Warning: Although I promise not to get graphic, only readers with a strong stomach are encouraged to continue reading.

Night of the McDonald's McRib Sandwich
I have no idea what possessed me to order this at age 9. I've always been a sucker for the latest and greatest offerings at popular casual dining chains. I'm sure Mickey D's was advertising their new McRib which prompted me to try it.  Introduced in 1981 Smothered in BBQ sauce, this boneless rib patty was pure deliciousness and I savored every bite. Hours later, I awoke from a peaceful sleep with the urge to purge. Sadly I didn't make it to the bathroom I shared with my little brother.  Let's just say the hallway stank of putrid regurgitated BBQ sauce for weeks no matter how hard Mom scrubbed. 

Night of the Friendly's Hot Dog
Always craving a tasty wiener, I ordered a Friendly's frank I believe they called it. I remember being very young. I loved every bite of the soft square-shaped bun and the crunch and snap of the hot dog fried to perfection on the flat grill. Sadly as perfectly as I remember the dog going down, I can recall it coming up hours later. Unlike the surprise of the McRib madness, I was unable to sleep with the hot dog laying in my gut like a rock. Obviously that was the last time I ordered the Friendly's Frank. 

All Day Illness from the Bob's Big Boy Breakfast Burrito 
To this day, my mother marvels at the thought of my heinous food selection that day in Florida. While visiting family in the Tampa area, I was excited to try Bob's Big Boy. We didn't have a Bob's that I was aware of while growing up. Now, at this time, Mexican wasn't as popular as it is now, so I myself wonder what went through my mind when I ordered this plate of pure poison disguised in a neatly wrapped floured tortilla. All I can tell you is that I rolled around on the living room floor of my Uncle's house for hours in agony until the sun went down. My aunt came to the rescue with a bottle of Milk of Magnesia.